ACTUAL LABEL INSTRUCTIONS ON CONSUMER GOODS
Wednesday 09-01-2010 1:32pm ET
1. On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
2. On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
3. On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap.
4. On some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost.
5. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert:(printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down.
6. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating.
7. On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body.
8. On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery.
9. On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness.
10. On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning keep out of children.
11. On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only.
12. On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use.
13. On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts.
14. On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
15. On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.
16. On a child's superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
Monday 08-30-2010 1:15pm ET
Help send my friend Amanda Meadows from CBS 6 Over the Edge for Special Olympics Virginia.
We could all be watching our favorite traffic reporter rappel off the Suntrust building in downtown Richmond this October in an effort to raise money for Special Olympics Virginia. Click here to find out how you can help Amanda reach her fundraising goal and contribute to a great cause.
Tuesday 08-31-2010 3:40pm ET
The Titanic Slide proves that if enough time passes any event can be fun...even one that involves 1500 men, women, and children succumbing to an icy death in the middle of the Atlantic.
Tuesday 08-31-2010 3:02pm ET
This October 16th, Give A Day & Get HandsOn!
Richmond, VA, October 16, 2010 – Mark your calendar for Saturday, October 16, 2010. It’s the 3rd annual HandsOn Day, when 1200 volunteers join together to impact our community in a citywide day of service.
Volunteers can join their families, friends, and neighbors to transform our community by volunteering at nonprofits, city parks, and schools. Projects include park clean-up and restoration, housing improvements for elderly citizens, arts and crafts with children, and more. HandsOn Day will provide more than 4,000 volunteer hours in a single day an estimated value of $80,000 to our community!
Please make plans to volunteer--- HandsOn Greater Richmond needs you to Get HandsOn to make this day successful. Imagine how much better Richmond could be if we work together to make sustainable changes for our community. Learn more about HandsOn Day at www.handsongr.org.
HandsOn Greater Richmond is a program of the Partnership for Nonprofit Excellence.
INTERN JAMES AND THE BWW BLAZING SHOT CHALLENGE
Monday 08-30-2010 1:40pm ET
SAFETY TIPS FOR HEROINE USE
Thursday 08-26-2010 5:44pm ET
When it comes to heroine use, it should ALWAYS be safety first. SAFETY TIPS FOR HERIONE USE
SIGNS YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS A WHORE
Thursday 08-19-2010 3:32pm ET
According to MuffSlap.com, here are some signs that your girlfriend is a tramp:
- More Men Than Women Recognize Her
- She Won't Give the Number of Guys She's Slept With
- She Has Trashy Tattoos
- Your Friends Warn You That She's a Whore
- She Attaches Fast But Keeps Her Distance
- Her Stories Contradict One Another
- She Works Nights
STEPS TO JOIN THE MILE HIGH CLUB
Wednesday 08-11-2010 8:57am ET
According to CoedMagazine.com, here are the five steps you need to take to join the mile high club:
1. Book a Flight with a Willing Partner -- Joining this exclusive club rarely happens by accident. Set yourself up for success by getting a commitment from your travel partner before getting on the plane. Then, be sure the two of you wear clothes with easy access (skirts for ladies are a must).
2. Get Warmed Up -- You're going to be heading to the bathroom to do the actual deed, so you want to get warmed up before heading back there. This isn't about romance. There's no time for foreplay.
3. Wait for the Right Moment -- You are going to want to use the rear bathrooms, and you also want to wait until the flight attendants are not standing around in the back. Your best bet is when they are serving drinks or food. Have one of you enter first, the other will wait to make sure nobody is looking, and then enter when it's clear.
4. Position -- Don't attempt anything complicated. There isn't enough space or time.
5. Quick and Quiet -- You don't want anybody else knowing what you're doing, so you want to be quick, quiet, and discreet. Don't yell. Don't kick. And, don't linger in the afterglow. Do it and get the hell out, one at a time.
HOW TO MAKE A BEER POPSICLE
Wednesday 08-11-2010 3:28pm ET
Beat the heat with this cheap and cool treat, the beer popsicle, aka "The Hopsicle."
The Diablo Royale Este saloon in New York takes a Tecate, inject it with simple syrup and lime juice, then jam a wooden stick in the can hole and freeze it. Four days later, they pull it out the freezer and saw it open with a serrated steak knife. Sounds awesome! I look forward to soon saying, "I make my own beer popsicles at home."
SOURCE: THE CONSUMERIST